By: Kat Watson
It all started with an unexpected question: “What actually happens on prom night? Does everyone lose their ‘virginity’?”
My South Asian colleague had watched one of those American high school TV series recently, and was fascinated by prom as a cultural ritual related to adolescent sexuality.
I thought about her question a lot. Did I feel “pressure” to “seal the deal” with my date that night? Was there an expectation that if you hadn’t had sex by that point, that prom night was the time to do it? Or, was prom more benign - just an excuse to dress up and have a party with your friends before you graduate high school?
In any case, it got both of us thinking about our experiences of sexuality during adolescents. As we discussed, we found more similarities than differences between my small town Midwestern America life story and her small North Indian city life story.
We were intrigued. How could it be that, on opposite sides of the world, the messages we received as adolescents were so similar?
Our discussions on that day inspired us to reach out to our friends and colleagues across the world who spend their lives advancing sexual and reproductive health and rights. We wondered whether they all had similar experiences as adolescents, and how and whether those experiences have shaped who they are today.
What started as an innocent question has grown into Rewind Reclaim Recreate - a Medium platform to share the social expectations and boundaries around sexuality that we all remember from our adolescent years. And, looking back, to share reflections on what we wish we had known back then that we know now.
Across the world, adolescent sexuality remains a taboo. Adolescents-and in many places, all unmarried people-are not “supposed” to express their sexuality freely. Patriachal, heteronormative, and adultist norms are socialized and internalized from well before adolescence, but are felt particularly during those formative years when we, begin to explore our sexuality. Not only do such norms prevent adolescents from discussing sex and contraception with adults, but many of us spend lifetimes unlearning the harmful norms we absorbed during our youth as well as the implications for our mental and emotional well-being.
As sexual and reproductive rights activists and advocates, we hope that this small attempt to “rewind” our own lives, “reclaim” our stories and “recreate” the narrative around adolescent sexuality will, in some small part, contribute to making the experiences of young people now and in the future more positive and pleasurable (including on prom night).
*If you are interested in contributing a story to the @rewindreclaim Medium platform, please send it to rewindreclaim@gmail.com; if you prefer to remain anonymous, please indicate this in your email.